Saturday, December 26, 2009

Vampire Barbie Riding Club

We all know the checkered history of the Barbie Riding Club series.  It started well with the simple "Don't fall off or the Clowns will get you" edition. It soared up with Pastel Pony, Magic Dolphin, and Space Shuttle editions.  Alas, it faltered, trying to expand it's scope with the Banana Slug edition, and the NFL addons.  Everyone agrees now that the Absolute Vodka sponsored Lindsey Lohan Life Coach special edition was ill-timed.  But new life was injected with the co-marking deal with Grand Theft Auto.  This game tops them all.  Not only does Barbie show how dynamic, independent, and strong she is, she learns how to live at the top of the food chain, AND finds that the life of the undead is filled with subtle economic lessons cleverly structured throughout the game.

After mastering the initial challenge of becoming a vampire you learn the steps of making stealth attacks on strangers, how to mix drinks (1 part O to 2 parts A is a good place to start), and how to train a pony that smells the stink of hell on you.  You learn to avoid daylight and learn which cover-up cosmetics to use if you stay up too early and you have to cover up the burned stump of your hand for a day or two.  Remember that everything you do gives you twice as many points if you do it on a pony!

In advanced play you learn the fundamentals of multi-level marketing by turning two of your friends, who each turn two of their friends and so on.  When there are enough vampires to saturate the market territory and the vampire wars start you learn how to sneak up on old "friends", how to point out the very fine print in those old contracts, how to place the blame on others, and how to go to ground for a century or so until the coast is clear.  You learn what makes losers losers and what a winner needs to do to be sure she wins.  These real world lessons can be learned painlessly (at least for you).  Don't forget that there are plenty of opportunity to put in the seeds for sequels.  Think of Zombie Barbie Riding Club, or Werewolf Barbie Riding Club.

1 comment:

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Wouldn't the werewolves eat the ponies?